Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Pity Party, Table for One... is happening. In full blown, let me throw myself on the floor and kick and scream about how unfair it is that I have no willpower. It has pulled an Elvis and left the building.

I have been really trying to stay positive, but I also promised myself that I would be real when I shared my journey. That means the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm sure if you made it this far, you've probably guessed is a sharing of the bad. This is where I have to hang my head in shame and tell you that my unintended cheat meal has stretched into two days. TWO DAYS!

It started with a sister day...and teriyaki pineapple chicken sliders with a side of fries. Then two candy bars that I practically inhaled...and some more candy bars today. Yes I am ashamed. Truly uncomfortable in my own skin and very disappointed in myself. On top of it all I feel like crap. I can truly see how my changes in diet and exercise have impacted the way I feel. I've had no migraines, no queasy, upset stomach. And my energy level has been a lot higher. With this little derailment, I am feeling it all!

I know. It's a new day...or rather, tomorrow is a new day. Yet a good portion of us have a hard time letting go of that guilt. Especially when we feel that our good intentions have gone so far south you can't even find the humor in it. If you are like me, I can't pinpoint what makes me derail. Sometimes it's emotions, sometimes it's boredom, and sometimes it's just a serious lack of willpower. This time it truly was the latter.

The worst part about it is....the vicious cycle that it seems to create. I eat crap food...and guess what? You got it...I feel like crap. And I beat myself up. And I eat more crap food because I decide to have myself a little pity party. This is where I am right now. In the midst of my pity party. But I promise, I'm about over it....until the next one comes along. For now, I think I need to go find some vegetables and soak up some of this sugar in my system that is making me feel super queasy. I knew the journey wasn't going to be easy. I didn't let my health go to shit overnight and I can't expect it to get better without a little hard work and sacrifice on my part. There will be slip ups...obviously...but they don't have to be the nail in the coffin. Stay strong my friends.

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